


A Photographer's Mission

by BleuWaters



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, I promise, I think that's enough tags, Levi x Reader - Freeform, OCs - Freeform, battlefieldphotographer!reader, childhood friend with levi!reader, ever-so-slight side romance between two ocs, levixreader - Freeform, plenty o' blood, there's a kiss at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleuWaters/pseuds/BleuWaters
Summary: Levi Ackerman x reader. As a photographer with a foolish notion to document Titan brutality, the captain refuses to allow the young woman to serve her death sentence. But really, who would be afraid of that little dog's bark? Insubordination and carelessness is costly, however, and in the darkest times, your captain proves able to surprise you.





	1. Insubordination

“No.”

 

“Why not!?” you demand, slamming your palms onto his desk, “I'm just as good as all the others!”

 

“That's not good enough, not in your condition,” replies the older man.

 

“Why do you hate me so much all of a sudden?”

 

“‘Cause you somehow manage to eat enough to _gain_ weight in the Scout Regiment.”

 

You could punch him. You really want to punch him.

 

“I'm going. You can't tell me no.”

 

“Then your blood is not on my hands,” mutters the captain.

 

You storm out of the room, angry and hurt and so willing to punch him, but you don't. So what if you want to go out and photograph the Titans? So what if you have the world’s worst metabolism? What does he care if you can't keep up?

 

You'll show him that you're more capable than most.

 

~o0o~

 

_You and Levi go back. Not too far, but far enough; back to when you were eight and he was thirteen. You met him wandering the streets. You were lonely, he admitted to having no place to be, and the two of you shared a piece of candy._

__

__

 

_It was funny, really. You came from a struggling family and finances were scarce; sugar was always a luxury. Quite frankly, it was obvious that Levi didn't come from anything better._

__

__

 

_After combining your measly allowance with his pair of pennies, the two of you ran into a shop and bought a single, round hard candy. It was pink and purple and since you put more money towards it, you decided how it would be shared._

__

__

 

_“We each get a one-minute suck on it,” you declared, carefully unwrapping the treasure from its wax-coated brown paper._

__

__

 

_“That's gross!” exclaimed Levi. You put your fist on your hip._

__

__

 

_“If I bite it, I get the bigger piece, but that's not fair,” you explained, “We both paid fair and square so we both get half.”_

__

__

 

_“Do you have any idea how nasty taking a sticky old piece of candy from your grubby little fingers would be!? No!”_

__

__

 

_“Then I'll have it all to myself!” you snapped, and you pushed the candy into your mouth. You can remember the sweetness from the sugar and blueberries and the faint tartness from the raspberries that had been cooked down and concocted to create the treat. It had a velvety touch against your tongue, and you had closed your eyes and given a long, contented sigh._

__

__

 

_“Is it good?” Levi asked quietly, and you just nodded blissfully. After a short time, he had started fidgeting, and asked you if it was his turn yet._

__

__

 

_Finally, you gave up the lozenge and watched enviously as it slid past the older boy's lips. His reaction was less dramatic, but he did sigh, and you noticed his shoulders relax._

__

__

 

_“Is it good?” you whispered._

__

__

 

_“Really good…”_

 

How that boy became how he is now is beyond you. Now you're blessed to be able to avoid him and a confrontation about your weight.

 

If he gets to pick on you because of your weight, why can't you comment on his height? Honestly, can't the guy take a little teasing?

 

“Can't you?”

 

“Eh!?” You jump, quite startled by the timing of Levi’s question. “I'm sorry; I...was distracted. What did you say?”

 

“Can't you have an actual conversation without spacing out?” Levi offers you a sideways glare and swipes at his desk with the palm of his hand, his fingers tracing around a coffee cup, a pencil cup, a stack of papers, to catch about three dust motes you brought in to shake on the floor.

 

“Sorry,” you say softly, looking down at the floor, “Levi-”

 

“Captain,” he corrects.

 

“I've never called you captain! Why would I start now!?”

 

“Because you have demoted yourself from being...more to me than a soldier. You're just another clueless kid that I have to send to their death.”

 

“I'm not a kid anymore,” you say softly, “I've lived through some bad stuff, same as you. Horrors. Titans. And I've known you for years; you know me. But…” You pause, frowning softly as memories of losing Levi as a confidante after his first scouting mission flickers through your mind. “Just...not as well as you used to.”

 

“It wouldn't be fair of me to deny that,” he says, sighing before looking up at you, an indication of his past friendship with you, “What do you want me to say?”

 

“I want you to support my decision. Can't you understand how valuable photographic documentation of the Titans would be?”

 

“Of course I do,” replies Levi, “But how could you possibly get anything worthwhile?”

 

“I’m...I wasn't going to say.”

 

“Because you want to do something stupid,” says the captain, his face setting in a harsh expression, “No. You will not step foot outside those walls; absolutely not.”

 

“You already said you wouldn't stop me!”

 

“I've changed my mind!!” roars the man, “You're staying here! Anything else will be an act of treason, and your connection to me will be made meaningless.”

 

“Ooh, I could punch you in your smug little face,” you growl, turning on your heel and stomping from the room. Tears of frustration and humiliation prick your eyelids, but you blink them away. You're smarter than he is, you're sure of it.

 

You'll get outside.

 

~o0o~

 

Levi is too lenient for his own good. He knows it, you know it, but no one else does. Nobody knows of your past, so nobody looks for anything out of the usual between you two. There's nothing to see.

 

He's given you up to your own choices, and you've simply given up on him. Not much left either of you can do about or want to do about it. People talk all the time about personalities clashing, and yours certainly tend to anymore.

 

You plan your mission in the quiet of your mother's home, at every opportunity you can carve out for yourself. You scrap more thoughts than you keep but, eventually, with the scouting trip less than a week away, you've got it, and it's planned to a T. You have gasoline canisters strapped together for easy carrying, a pack with food, water, a blanket, pain medication and all the first-aid essentials; bandages, sutures and needles, a scalpel, cream to treat the chafing and burns from your three-dimensional gear’s straps. You have everything, including the world's best pair of hiking boots and a horse waiting for you in the empty Trost district. You would sneak out the most dangerous way; by running around the top of the wall, scaling down to pick up your gear, and squeezing out through a tiny gap that was left unfilled by the enormous boulder the Eren-Titan placed there. Then you would ride to Shiganshina and exit the walls while the survey squad would leave via the Washington district, one quarter of a turn around Wall Maria.

 

You're ready.

 

~o0o~

 

Levi can feel the upset in the air of the evacuated Washington district. It's quiet. The only sound on the breeze is the occasional wail from a frustrated Titan scratching outside the wall.

 

It's painfully silent, dangerously so, and the breeze, though balmy and comfortable, crawls over the nape of his neck like a slimy hand, causing the hair on his arms to prickle in warning. He raises his hand to his squad, and everyone understands.

 

Something's wrong.

 

The captain leads the way away from the caravan of horses and a single wagon, up onto the rooftops. His squad follows until they reach a church steeple. He stands atop it and scans the city.

 

“It's too quiet,” he mutters, and one of the scouts clears his throat softly; everyone's nervous now, “I don't get it…” Slate-grey eyes search relentlessly over the red tile shingles for movement, anything at all, and find nothing. Unlike in Trost, the hole at the Washington gate has not been blocked, so the area is open to Titans.

 

The fact that there are none is worrisome.

 

If they aren't here, where are they? Certainly they can tell that the squad has come to the area; the Titan making a fuss on the other side of the wall is proof of that.

 

“What's going on?” Levi breathes, gaze darting to random points of the wall, “Scale the wall! I want visuals on every Titan hanging around here!”

 

Swiftly, the squad, made up of twelve soldiers and accompanied by three scientists plus Hanji intrigued by the venture, flies up the wall. A yell comes from a woman named Johanna.

 

“Captain! Look down!”

 

Standing quietly, patiently, at the foot of the immense concrete wall, are dozens of giants. Almost countless. And at the sound of her cry, they all look up, as though all are controlled by a single entity. Lifeless black eyes sweep over the horrified human faces, and gaping mouths drop open like baby birds waiting for their meal to fall from the sky.

 

~o0o~

 

Boy, are you relieved that Trost was retaken and emptied out. You dislike its atmosphere. There are old bloodstains everywhere, to begin with, and flies buzzing around, but it's the fact that you know exactly how many lives were destroyed in one small area that makes you feel uneasy. Every splatter of blood belonged to one of those names on the list of casualties.

 

You shake the thoughts from your head and take off at a sprint toward where you left your horse to graze. The animal was darned expensive; you don't plan to lose her any time soon. Your footsteps echo through the streets, a steady thump-thump-thump that helps to relax you. The district is quiet, and you draw near to your horse. She shakes her head up and down after uprooting a tuft of grass, loosening the dirt from their roots before wiggling the blades into her mouth to chew. She nickers when she sees you.

 

“Hi, baby,” you say, panting softly as you stop near her. You first put the saddle on her back and tie the cinch, then swing the saddlebags up. They hold oats. A blanket rolled around a canister of gas gets strapped to the back of the saddle, and you briskly walk the mare a few steps back and forth to make her blow the air from her lungs. Then you tighten up the cinch, grab your pack, and lead her toward your exit. It'll be difficult to get a horse through it, but she trusts you and you her, so it should work. It _has_ to work. And it has to be fast. Who knows if there will be Titans waiting in the other side.

 

Part of you feels guilty for leaving right now. The reason you are is to use the scouting squad as a distraction so that a single rider will go almost unnoticed by the Titans. Seeing as you've never been outside the walls, you've no idea what to expect and no plan for once you get out. The only thing you know to do is find trees, big trees, and hide out until it's safe. After that? You'll find the squad and pull out your camera to document the horrors that people live through and die from.

 

The rock in the gate is so massive. You crack a bewildered grin and click to your horse, stepping carefully over rubble on your way to the hole. Your mare’s hooves clatter against the rocks and concrete, and the saddle creaks as she steps.

 

“Come on, sweetie,” you whisper, gingerly stepping through the hole. You hold your breath as you scan the outside area. Since Trost was evacuated, there has only been the occasional scout in it to check for Titan movements; never enough to catch the creatures’ attention. The coast seems clear, and you coax the horse to follow.

 

Now's the hard part; navigating through the Titan-infested plains of the outermost ring of human territory.


	2. Detour

Levi clenches his jaw and huffs an annoyed breath through his teeth.

 

“Crap,” he mutters. This just complicated and postponed the whole outing. Glancing over his small group of soldiers, he chooses Johanna to return to Wall Sina and send a message off to Erwin.

 

To the rest of his group, he announces the plan. “We'll lift the caravan to the top of the wall,” he says, “And ride to Shiganshina. Then we'll lower it down again and leave.”

 

“That'll take hours,” mutters one of the newest members of this particular squad, and Levi silences him with a glare.

 

“Better late than never,” he says, “Let's go; get those horses up here ASAP! I want to be riding in fifteen!”

 

He watches briefly as the soldiers leaps off the wall, then turns his back and peers down at the Titans clawing and slapping mindlessly at the wall. They've gotten stirred up, excited, and they don't seem as far down as they are. Dilated pupils reflect the solid stone before them, fingertips steam as layers of skin are rasped away. They aren't frantic; they rarely seem frantic. Just...curious. Like infants that like to put everything in their mouths.

 

Levi shudders at the thought, then descends to help his group.

 

~o0o~

 

You settle into a very comfortable canter on your mare's back, and pull out your canteen, dropping the reins to lead with your toes. She's a very command-sensitive horse, trained for the best of the best in the Scout Regiment (and really, it's only your title as a soldier in that regiment that allowed you to purchase her). However, she's what you'd call bomb-proof. She isn't scared of _anything._

 

Water slides down your throat and you sigh with satisfaction. You've been riding for a good three and a half hours and the water is certainly appreciated. It's been awhile since you've ridden at all, let alone for a long distance. A faint ache sets in at your lower back and you scoff, shifting slightly to alleviate the tension. You've only seen one Titan, a small one, and were able to sneak past it unnoticed. There have been more body parts that the Titans left behind than actual Titans.

 

_How much farther,_ you wonder, squinting at the wall in the distance. It's easier to see now, but it's still pretty far off. Buildings gathered near the gate to Shiganshina look tiny.

 

With such a quiet trip thus far, it's hard to remember that there are Titans still roaming the area. Last time you were out here was with Levi when you turned ten. Your mother had scraped together enough for a picnic and the weather was similar to today's; sunny, breezy, calm.

 

You sigh. The mare is puffing; you'll have to rest her. You slow to a walk and sit up as straight as possible, scanning the hilltops constantly for movement.

 

It's strange, but for another hour, you see no Titans. Hills, trees, birds, everything but a Titan. It's too quiet.

 

Then, something catches your eye and you immediately draw your swords.

 

It's Johanna.

 

“No…” you whisper, and you see that she's spotted you. Neither of you shout; instead, you guide your horses toward each other and only speak when you're near enough to whisper. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

 

“Why are you here!? You have orders to stay inside,” hisses Johanna, her strong, regional Scandinavian accent elongating her vowels and rounding out the ‘r’s. She shakes her head, “Never mind that. No casualties as of yet, but the Titans have blocked the Washington gate out. I'm on Captain Levi’s orders to take the message back. I should take you with me.”

 

“No, absolutely not,” you say, shaking your head, “I have...b...business to attend to.”

 

“Well, your ‘buhbusiness’ will have to go unattended to,” says Johanna, “Levi will want you cared for.”

 

“Captain.”

 

“Yes, Captain Levi.”

 

“I don't care what he has to say,” you sigh, glancing over Johanna’s shoulder and into the distance, “I am a free person and will do as I like.”

 

“I think it'll be in your best interest to care about what he says,” replies Johanna, “I can't leave you out here.”

 

“You aren't,” you say, and you move away from her. You and she trained as cadets and ascended the ranks together until your performance stagnated and you fell behind. Levi was convinced it was your weight. You're not sure _what_ it was.

 

“(F/n), _please,_ ” she whispers, “Is there no way to convince you?”

 

“No, Johanna.”

 

“I don't want you to die.”

 

“And I don't want to. But I need to do this. I'm just...drawn to it. It must be done.”

 

“Then I'm accompanying you.”

 

You huff a laugh. “He'll have your head for ditching your duty.”

 

“He'd throw me to the Titans if I left you alone,” she scoffs, her prancing dapple-gray acting up beside your well-mannered horse, his front hooves lifting off the ground in play. Johanna stays balanced, used to his antics and very accustomed with dealing with them.

 

“Fine then,” you relent, urging your mare to trot. Johanna's horse, Silver, bounces along beside you, his strides springy but long. The two of you are quiet for the time being, not daring to say anything lest it lead to another disagreement about you leaving the walls.

 

Johanna is a good friend, and a good soldier. A fantastic messenger, seeing as her horse is one of the finest breeding studs for Arabians, a breed of horse that was made for fast long distance travel. She has a life that's almost too good to be true, because no matter how many people die, after a period of near-unbearable grief, she's able to bounce back to her loving, cheerful self. It's a quality that very few retain, and you admire her for it.

 

“Johanna, how the heck did you get all the way over here? You're way off-course.”

 

“There were Titans," she replies simply, "Hey, (f/n)...”

 

“What?”

 

“Levi wouldn't send you back. It's too dangerous and he can't afford to lose the manpower it would take to get one person home. Or the time. We'll be a day -maybe two- late as it is. Take comfort in that. Your personal mission won't be cut off.”

 

~o0o~

 

Dark eyes stare up at the dark night sky. Johanna must've gotten back to Rose by now. Perhaps you've even heard the news.

 

Everyone is tired. Levi is the only person not trying to catch a wink in this hour rest period. Even the horses have their heads lowered and their eyes closed, though oat sacks are over their noses.

 

A cold wind has picked up and Levi pulls his cloak tighter around himself. It's blowing toward them from Washington, carrying unnerving groans and squawks  
on it. The Titans are far behind. They seemed to lose interest once the caravan got a mile ahead of them, and they returned to the Washington gate at their aimless, ambling pace.

 

An involuntary flinch jerks Levi's body when he hears the shrill whistle of a horse replying to another. After counting the lumps of his squad that sit up in reaction, he finds that everyone is still there, and everyone was surprised.

 

“Find out what that was about,” he says, and his voice comes out far quieter than he had intended, “Light, quickly.”

 

A young man named Anders rushes to the wagon and grabs a flare. He steps to the edge and fires it at an angle to the ground. Bright red light floods the trees it lowers around, and sixteen pairs of eyes search the area around it for something, for anything, that could've caused the horse’s alarm. There's a small Titan looking up at the caravan from beneath a pine tree, but otherwise, nobody sees anything.

 

“Shoot one along the wall,” orders Levi, “Quickly!” Anders is quick to obey, and the light burns alongside the concrete, washing it red.

 

You let out a yelp and swing to the left to avoid it, the grappling hook of your maneuvering gear digging deep into the rock.

 

“Levi!! Levi, get out of here!” you wail, flinging yourself toward the top of the wall as quickly as the ropes will go, “It's a variant!!”

 

“What..? (F/n)?” Levi frowns, then snatches the flare gun from Anders and shoots off one himself. It bounces off your shoulder, but you ignore it.

 

Your scream is chilling, and the words cling to the cold night air, like claws imbedded in cloth.

 

_“It's climbing!!”_


	3. Wild Goose Chase

“Go!! Get outta here!” you shriek, then you hear everyone begin to hustle. One more length of cord and you're to the top of the wall.

 

“How fast is it?” asks Levi, grabbing you by your elbow and dragging you into a sprint to get to the horses.

 

“About as fast as a person, but with its size…” You pull your arm away and settle into a comfortable pace. You may have some extra plush on your frame, but beneath that is muscle, healthy muscle. You're fast, very strong, accurate enough. Heck, the scare of the Titans has sheared a good five pounds off already. “We're too slow as we are. The wagon slows us down.”

 

“We can't leave it,” replies Levi.

 

“She's right behind us!” shouts Anders, wheeling a half-circle on his horse.

 

Levi grabs his horse by the bridle. “Get on!”

 

You grit your teeth and hoist yourself into the saddle, then Levi hops up behind you. You ain't _that_ much shorter than he is, but he still has to crane his neck to see around your head.

 

The burst of speed the black horse explodes forward with jerks your hips forward and snaps your head back; you feel your skull connect with some equally-solid part of Levi.

 

“We ride to Shiganshina!” shouts Levi, “Quickly!”

 

A couple people agree, but the thunder of hoof-falls drowns out their voices.

 

“I was separated from Johanna!” you say, “She went one way, I went another, we lost each other!”

 

“You saw Johanna!?” exclaims Levi, “That brat was supposed to go back to Rose!”

 

“Never mind that! We'll have time to talk later,” you say, “She was fine last I saw of her.” You twist to look over Levi's shoulder and see the Titan’s hand grip the top edge of the wall. “Not fast enough,” you breathe, then your voice raises “Levi, we're not fast enough!!”

 

“Take the reins,” he answers, placing the leather straps into your hands. Looks like he got a nosebleed from your head collision, what with the red staining his hand. “Don't look back.”

 

“What? No, are you crazy!?” you cry, turning as he slides off, landing with a hard roll.

 

“Don't you dare stop!” he shouts, running past the other scouts and their horses, swords drawn in preparation. The need to direct the horse tears your eyes away, but only momentarily.

 

Yeah, right, like you wouldn't look back.

 

He pins the hooks of his maneuvering gear into the Titan’s knee and leaps off the wall to gain momentum.

 

The Titan must be a human-controlled one. It has that different look; bare muscle instead of flabby skin, sharp eyes that watch as opposed to follow, hesitance that marks thought processes. It's female, too, and her hair is wild and blonde.

 

Levi swings in a wide arc around the Titan, then pulls up to climb her, leaning deep into the wide leftward swoop. Huge, but undeniably deft fingers pluck the wire from the air. You imagine he's done for, like Siss, the man that attempted to go up against the first female Titan.

 

Instead, she wraps the wire around her fingers, like a kid playing with a length of yarn, forming a figure-eight between the index finger and ring finger of her left hand. After coiling every last inch, she places Levi snugly against the outside of her fingers and pops the cord right out of his gear by pushing his hips away from it with her thumb. It snaps easily, and Levi drops over the side of the wall. The Titan shakes the wire off her hand before resuming her pursuit. It takes her three steps to catch up to you, and she hops effortlessly over the entire caravan.

 

Heedless to direction, and careless to boot, you slide from Levi's horse and leap off the edge. He, being the expert he is, is hanging from the right cord. The soles of his boots skid over the cement, over compensating for the loss of balance.

 

“I told you to stay on the horse!” he snaps, grunting as he pulls himself onto the wall, “Get up here!”

 

“Is she even going for anyone?” you ask, hopping a couple steps when you touch down, “She didn't hurt you, did she?”

 

“I'm fine,” he answers gruffly, “She's obviously not interested in us. Look, she's running on ahead.” A low whistle calls his horse to the two of you, and the rest of the group circles back around.

 

“Captain, what…what's going on?” a young woman named Lissa asks, her young mount shifting anxiously, feeding off its rider's worry.

 

“The Titan’s obviously going somewhere,” replies Levi, giving you a leg up onto the horse.

 

Since when has he ever decided to be courteous to you? Especially because he's probably ticked out of his mind at you.

 

“Since she's heading toward Shiganshina, let's follow her. Keep a safe distance, and have your maneuvering gear out and ready. All we know as of yet is that Titans are dangerous and unpredictable! I want zero casualties tonight!” Levi swings up onto his horse and sets off, being careful this time to lead up to speed.

 

He always knew you were hardheaded.

 

~o0o~

 

The long-haired Titan runs for ages. She runs until the sun comes up. She runs until the horses puff, until they trip out from under the squad, one by one. She runs through two canisters of gasoline, through the stamina everyone has from running miles every day. Eventually, the squad slows, then stops. Gnarled blonde hair flips in the midday sunshine, and small lines of recovery steam trickles upward from the Titan’s feet and legs as she continues running.

 

You cough softly and gulp in air, loosening the straps of your gear so you can take a huge breath.

 

“What now, Captain?” you ask quietly, sitting yourself down on the wall. Anders lays flat on his back, and Lissa rubs her thighs.

 

“Woo! I don't know about you guys but I'm _thirsty_!” exclaims Hanji, propping her elbow on Levi's shoulder. She tugs at her collar and sticks her tongue out, panting like a dog.

 

“You stink,” mutters Levi, but he shakes his head, “We'll work on calling the horses to us. We only have our canteens.”

 

“Right. Okay,” you say. You're...not much of a whistler, and Levi knows it. Thankfully, you have a quick response when he lifts a brow on challenge. “My horse is on the ground. Even if I call her, she won't be of any use. Maybe you could call _your_ horse, Captain.”

 

The scowl he gives you is worth photographing; alas, he wipes it from his face before you have a chance to get the camera out.

 

“H-hey! Captain, she's coming back!!” cries Lissa.

 

Sure enough, the monstrous Titan has turned around and is sprinting toward the squad. In the daylight, her face is visible. Her mouth twists down in a fearsome frown, but her eyes read nothing but neutral. She doesn't have a glint of bloodlust, nor has she a particularly thoughtful expression. However, she doesn't have the empty eyes that most Titans do.

 

“Hold your ground, but be ready to jump off the wall at my command!” orders Levi, and everybody draws their swords and adjusts the projection angles.

 

It takes about a minute for the Titan to reach you, and it's a tense, adrenaline-laced minute. Fingers twitch nervously on their swords, hearts pound, and the hot, humid breeze easily draws sweat to foreheads and necks. The steady thump of huge feet shake the wall, sending vibrations through the thick, rubber soles of your boots. You can even feel it in your ribcage.

 

“I said hold steady!” barks the captain, and you glance over to see Klaus-Peter, an almost redheaded, fully silent soldier you trained with, withdraw one of the wires of his gear from the top of the wall. It was merely preparatory, but it _was_ disobedient to Levi’s instruction.

 

Going over the squad members, you find that seven of the eleven are people you trained with several years back. Lissa, Anders, Klaus-Peter, a dark-haired woman named Magdalena, a platinum-blonde named Katrin, a blond man named Lennard, and a scrawny guy with glasses and brown hair named Jan. You have a soft spot for Klaus-Peter, same as with Johanna, but you love them all. It's hard to go through emotional years with people and not love them. The secrets that have been shared and kept, the wishes, dreams, prayers. You cherish them.

 

The female doesn't seem to slow as she draws nearer, making it difficult to hold still and trust the captain. When she's about ten paces away, you look to him. When it's five, you lean to the right, ready to launch yourself over the edge.

 

She doesn't take the last step to reach the squad. She comes to such an immediate stop that her massive form keeps going after her feet quit. Long and reach out in front of her, and her huge shadow engulfs the squad.

 

“Captain!?”

 

“Wait!”

 

“Levi!!”

 

“I said wait!!” he roars.

 

Hands connect with a thunderous boom, crunching concrete and steel railway tracks, and…

 

Well, she stops falling. She caught herself, and a fiery-hot rib stops just inches above your head. Hanji lets out a thrilled squeal.

 

“Who's in there!?” she trills, “Come on out so I can talk to you!”

 

The Titan slowly shifts back until she's crouching before the squad, and she lowers a hand to the wall, palm up, fingers relaxed and open. It's all Hanji needs as invitation to hop on.

 

“Let's see,” she says, practically trembling in delight as the Titan lifts her up by her face, “Shall I guess who's in there?”

 

“You're gonna get your pea-brained head taken off if you aren't careful,” mutters Levi, grappling up onto the Titan’s shoulder, “I'll cut you open if you try anything. Wouldn't expect you to, though; not after all that.” A large, blue eye looks at him, then both refocus on Hanji.

 

“Cross-eyed!” she exclaims, “Here, I'll try to guess who you are. You're in the military, right? I'll take your silence as a yes. Are you in the Survey Corps?”

 

A soft breath (soft for her; more like a gust for Hanji) passes the Titan’s lips and her head nods once.

 

“Then you must be Johanna! Yes?”

 

The Titan smiles softly and Hanji loses it.

 

“Ah!! The muscles in your face have developed enough for facial expressions! This is brilliant!” she cries, placing her hands on the Titan’s right cheek, making the creature go googly-eyed in an attempt to keep the scientist in focus, “Can you come out? No! No, let's wait for that.”

 

You sigh, a faint smile on your face. Hanji is easily keeping up a conversation, so you take a moment to glance around the team. Everyone is stunned, but Klaus-Peter seems almost shell-shocked. After all, he just found out he's been married to a Titan for the past ten years.

 

“Hey, you okay?” you ask him gently. He looks to you, takes a moment, then shrugs and looks away again. He can be so hard to read sometimes; the thought makes you shake your head. Lissa and Anders inch toward the Titan and Hanji laughingly tells them to join her.

 

“Can I climb on your head?” she asks, grabbing a lock of blonde hair. An eye watches her for a moment, then turns to the two timidly stepping onto her hand.

 

“Tch, get off her,” says Levi, and you notice that his hands tighten on the sword hilts. He's distrusting, but has every right to be. Hanji is mindlessly trusting for science. Lissa and Anders back off.

 

The scientists all have some fun and get some good research done in the next two morning hours before Levi snaps that it's high time to get a move on. The whole time, he says nothing to you.

 

Yeah, he's mad. Oh well.

 

You tighten the straps of your 3-d gear again and wince. Man, they rub. A pull on your canteen empties it and you savor the liquid, regardless of its temperature and the slight metallic taint it has from sitting so long. You hold it in your mouth, swallowing mere drops at a time as you twist the cap back on.

 

“Have you all gone insane!?” the quietest shout ever asks, “Why did you leave the caravan!?”

 

Everyone turns simultaneously.

 

That voice belongs to Johanna.

 

And it came from behind.


	4. Blue

“No way…” you whisper.

 

“Go, go!” roars Levi, “Over the edge, now!”

 

Everyone dives off the wall, but a lone, brief scream signals Katrin’s capture. You twist midair to see her, to yell, to plead, but she was already grabbed, and with a quick squeeze and a dull crunch, her body goes limp. She leans back over the hand of the female, her arms out and wide open. An anguished wail come from the other side of the wall; it belongs to Lissa, and it lasts forever. She, Katrin, and Magdalena have been close friends for years. Magdalena is quiet and strong, Katrin, vain and carefree, but Lissa is a gentle spirit, easily brokenhearted and ever-loving. Her cries only quiet when Magdalena goes over to her (you imagine; you can't actually see the outer side of the wall).

 

The Titan releases the crumpled body, and it lands on the wall above. You hate the angle you're at, unable to see anything up top, unable to communicate. You don't see Levi. Anders, Lennard, and two soldiers you only know by name are on the inner side of the wall with you; everyone else is on the outer side. From what you can guess, Johanna is still on top, but a good distance away.

 

“Levi!!” you shout, “What should we do!?”

 

“You stay put!” comes the reply, “Anders, Josef, cripple her!”

 

“Yes, Captain!!” shout the men, and they both disappear overhead.

 

You're apparently bad at taking orders, because next thing you know, you've vaulted back onto the wall, well away from the female, so you can take photographs. In the bright midday sun, they'll look great, and they'll raise awareness about the evil people still living within the walls. You wrestle with your equipment, but finally get the camera ready. Crouching down low and steadying your hands, you let the camera snap picture after picture, dozens with one click. With horror in your heart and bile in your throat, you capture Anders getting grabbed by his foot, snatched right out of the air, and flung off into the blue sky. You capture Josef get plowed into the wall, smashed again and again headfirst into the concrete. You capture Levi dodging and ducking, Hanji crying in disbelief and betrayal, Jan and Lennard and the other man and two women on the squad getting called up for reinforcement. Everyone attacks at once, and it looks to be enough. Jan is grabbed and pulled apart, and blood and innards splatter the stone.

 

Hundreds of pictures are taken, hundreds of moments saved to be viewed over and over again, horrors to be relived, anger to be cultivated, sorrow to rip through the lost soldiers’ families. You get it all, burn through a full roll of film. You swiftly change it and take more photographs. Levi pares through the Achilles tendon and the Titan goes down. Hanji and Lennard both go for the nape, and one of them gets it, because then it's all over. The massive body begin to steam, and Lennard drags the unconscious pilot of the Variant from it. It's a girl, a young teen, with hair dyed black.

 

You photograph her being restrained, then you photograph the bodies. Anders is practically impossible to see. He was thrown a quarter mile away, and is only a speck in the meadow. You snap a picture anyway; maybe you can point him out. Then you take one of Jan’s remains, a close-up of his glasses. Sunlight reflecting off the lenses covers his eyes. You take one of Josef. He's unrecognizable with no face, his head barely retaining the shape of a skull. Flesh, blood, and what you can only identify as brain matter cover the wall beneath him and you can't keep the tiny amount of water in your stomach down.

 

It takes a minute for you to gather yourself.

 

Finally, quietly, you step over to Katrin. She lay on her stomach, her right arm hanging off the edge of the wall. Her hair sweeps down her delicate jaw, and the faintest line of blood blushes starkly against her lips. Her lovely blue eyes, ice encircled by navy, are almost fully blacked out by her pupils.

 

It surprises you. It's Katrin’s face, her beautiful face, but she's not...there. It's like a well-made doll is staring at you, looking into the lens. You take her hand in yours, then look around. Lissa and Magdalena sit huddled together, grieving their beloved friend; their sister. Klaus-Peter runs off toward Johanna and the caravan, Hanji talks to the other scientists, trying to figure out what to do with the kid. Lennard and the other team members quietly, shakily, inspect some bumps and bruises. Levi stands off to the side, staring off the edge of the wall.

 

You stand and go to him.

 

“Are you okay?” you ask.

 

He says nothing.

 

“Levi?”

 

You deserve what happens next but you're not expecting it, and the force of the blow knocks you down. Pain feathers from your jaw, covers the side of your face.

 

“You have no business being here,” he says quietly, “I told you to stay home.”

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean, ‘why?’” snaps Levi, grudgingly offering you a hand and helping you up, “So you wouldn't have this.”

 

“Being told when you got back wouldn't have been any easier,” you whisper, “And I have what I came for. More than enough.” Smoke from the Titan corpse burns your nostrils and you make a face.

 

“What happened?” asks Levi, and you sigh, tears flooding your vision, turning everything to shapeless blurs of color.

 

“With what?” Your voice is scarcely more than a breath.

 

“Us. What was the end?”

 

“Your first scouting mission.” You don't skip a beat. Cradling your jaw, you sit on the edge of the wall, swinging your legs over the side before letting the tears fall. Your free hand grasps the wrist of the one against your face and Levi sits beside you.

 

“That long ago?” he asks, “That sucks.”

 

You nod.

 

A hand thumps onto your head and pulls you to lean against a shoulder. “I gotcha,” Levi whispers, “Okay? I gotcha.”

 

The two of you sit for a good long while, neither stirring when Klaus-Peter and Johanna come with the caravan, neither saying anything while the bodies get collected and put on the back of the wagon, neither reacting when Hanji brings two canteens of fresh, cool water over.

 

Later, she brings over baked potatoes, hot and fresh off the coals of a small fire.

 

Later, there are cups of tea, and a question about when the squad is going to get a move on. You feel the scientist’s hands in your hair, pulling it away from your face absently as she waits for a reply for the captain.

 

“We'll stay here tonight,” Levi answers, “And head home at dawn. This was supposed to be a no-contact mission and now I have four families to break the news to. Four, out of seventeen! I still don't know how _you_ got here.” His shoulder lifts, knocking your head.

 

“No Titans on the way, that's how,” you mutter, heaving a sigh. Your eyelids feel as heavy as lead, and a headache throbs incessantly in your skull. “I don't know why.”

 

“Maybe they were too focused on the female,” suggests Hanji, tugging on your arm, “Let's get some sleep, hm?”

 

Giving a faint nod, you follow her to a spot she has between the metal railway tracks. Keeps ya from falling off, she says. Cuddled together with your closest female friend is as close to home as you can get and, even though she smells kinda funny, you snuggle into her in a way that it won't bother you and pass out.

 

Lifeless blue eyes follow you in your dreams.


	5. Well, Finally

The trip home was safe and easy, what with the idiot Titans being wherever they were at the time that they were, and the recovery after losing your friends was hard. Lissa has a very sad quality about her now. She's sweet, but there's always melancholy beneath it. Johanna and Klaus-Peter were hurt by the incident, but seemed to be managing well. Lennard...well, you're not too sure. He left the Survey Corps and you've not heard from him since. Magdalena is her normal self; quiet, strong, bold, if need be.

 

You're not to sure how you came out of it. Going through the three hundred plus photographs made you relive every second of it, every cry, every bone snapping, everything. It’s seared into your brain, and you have nightmares every night. It's rare to not wake up screaming, soaked in sweat, or sobbing, if not all three.

 

Walking down the hall of the Survey Corps HQ with five hours of sleep under your belt, you grip the folder of pictures tightly to your chest. A double-tap on the door is enough and Levi calls you in.

 

“Here are the pictures,” you say, and you can't get your voice to work properly. It's hoarse and weak, strained from your anguished nights. “I'm bringing them down to the printing press, then posting them publicly.”

 

“It's strong stuff,” he replies, pulling the photographs out one inch, two, before pushing them out of sight, “You look tired.”

 

“I am, thank you,” you mutter, sitting down slowly, “Don't look too good yourself.”

 

“ ‘Nother scouting mission next month,” he sighs. You look up, shocked.

 

“But...th-this last one was just six months ago!” you exclaim, “So soon?”

 

“That's the point. If it had succeeded, we would have no reason to go out again so soon. But it didn't, so we must. It'll be a much bigger group this time; thirty-five,” he says, handing you the envelope, “I'm going for a walk. Would you like to come with?”

 

You nod, your brow knit in worry. Did he always go on so many scouting trips? You can't remember.

 

“Nice weather today,” you say eventually, hands clamped down on the envelope tightly.

 

“You're wasting away,” says Levi.

 

“Um...wait, what?”

 

“You're getting too skinny.”

 

“Skinny!?” you scoff, “Yeah, hardly! I've barely lost ten pounds.”

 

“Well, you weren't that heavy to begin with,” he replies, and you frown.

 

“Man, you sure fooled me,” you huff angrily, twisting the closure of the large envelope until it snaps off.

 

“Yeah…”

 

The two of you are quiet as you leave the building, quiet as you wander the streets, until he walks down a dim alley.

 

“Wait here,” he says, and you do, a bit confused but, y'know, whatever. He's only gone for a minute, and he tells you to open your big mouth. You do, only to protest, and he shoves something in it. You nearly spit it out, but then you taste it. Blueberry, raspberry, cream…

 

Tears fill your eyes and you close them, rolling the candy around your mouth.

 

“This was where we had the first one,” says Levi, “You remember?”

 

You nod, rubbing your eyes.

 

“We each get a minute suck,” he says, sitting down on a crate, “Get ready to surrender it. Blubbering idiot.”

 

“Oh, shut up,” you say, half-heartedly nudging his boot with the toe of yours. You sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder. “I've missed you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, hand it over,” he replies, and you pluck the candy from your mouth with your thumb and forefinger. He doesn't look at you when he takes it and puts it in his mouth, and you can almost see the blush creeping up his neck.

 

“You're not very good at mushy-gushy stuff, are you, Levi?”

 

“How'd you guess?”

 

“That's okay,” you smile, wiping the last little tears away, “You have other strong suits.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“So. Captain Levi Ackerman. Humanity’s strongest, but not romantic and not very tall.”

 

“Oi, shut up.”

 

“Or what, Captain Levi?”

 

“Or I'll _make_ you shut up.”

 

“Ooh. Scawy Captain.”

 

Levi stands, spits out the candy, and gives you a harsh glare. You, the woman with a death wish, grin at him.

 

“So fierce,” you whisper.

 

Then he grabs you by the collar with both hands. “Why, oh why, must you torment me day after day?” he asks, “No matter what I do, you come back. Like a dog.”

 

“Me? If anything, you're the obnoxious lap dog.”

 

“How dare you?”

 

“Come on, we both know you're all bark, no bite.”

 

He proves you wrong by lifting you right off your rear and crushing his mouth to yours.

 

It a good thing he's holding onto you, because your legs go straight to jelly, no warning.

 

He devours you, and really, it's the most spectacular kiss ever, tasting of the childhood candy and annoyance and Levi. He forces your mouth open and slides his tongue in and it's _dizzying_. You grab his cloak, feeling off balance, and he rips away, leaving you both panting. He swipes the dampness from his mouth with the heel of his hand and you just start laughing, the emotion of the last six months swelling and sloshing and making a mess of things.

 

“Where did _that_ come from?” you whisper breathlessly, touching your fingertips to your lips.

 

“I think we both just needed it,” he answers softly, and you notice that his ears are red. You wrap your arms around his middle.

 

“I think you're right.”


End file.
